Dont know what to do anymore

Fuck this! I sit it my bedroom for hours looking at the ceiling with my eyes filled with tears, im giving up im becoming weaker everyday and i just dont know what to do anymore.

i feel like im gonna explode soon that all of this shit bottled inside of me is going to take hold of me and im going to snap, im going to push everyone away from me, when i need them the most

i hate feeling depressed theres nothing i can do, ive stopped doing the things i use to love, ive turned to things which i swore that i would never do, i hate what Ive become, ive pushed my best friend away even though shes blinded in what im going through

Im just passing time waiting for life to become better but its not working, i need a destraction i need to become happy again, the girl i use to be, my old self, when i use to laugh all the time, smile for no reason

I don’t know what to do, everything I do I end up letting everyone down, and it isn’t fair. It’s not fair that my sadness ends up bringing everyone else I love down. It’s not fair that my life isn’t going anywhere regardless of all the effort I’m putting in. I’m trying so fucking hard, all I want is for everything to be normal. 

Yes this may be i hard journey but i cant keep doing what im doing everyday, its not helping me mentally or physically, i need to push myself to become better, i just don’t know how
i don’t have the energy or strength anymore

nessxox:

To my amazing gorgeous best friend, i have no clue where to start.
You are like my sister, i do everything with u, i tell u everything and i will be so lost without u, u have no clue. We have stuck by each other for now 3 years, we have gone through so much shit together but we never…